Retro Private Eye

Where Have All the Manly Men Gone?

Listless Millenial Phamp Adams longs for the days of yesteryear, "When a man did what a man had to do." Sure, it wasn't all perfect back then but you knew where you stood- You didn't give any slack and you didn't take any either.

And the Women Who Loved Them?

Today's modern woman goes for the sensitive guy who cares about the earth and listens to her feelings... yeah right! Real babes don't go for that stuff, that's what they have their girlfriends for. Don't fall for all that new age, namby-pamby malarkey. They're still thrilled by a guy with mischievous good looks, a confident, carefree attitude and a bit of swagger.

Stop making excuses and man up!

After all the powers that be have their say and tell you how to think and behave, you still have to get up each day and look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "Am I going to let a bunch of panty-wastes run my life or am I going to take control?". Deep inside we all know what to do.

Synopsis (and Table of Contents)

Prologue: How Did You Get a Name Like Phamp? Phamp's nonstandard christening and world outlook is formed.

Chapter 1: And then She Walked In… It finally happened, the bomb blonde shell strolled in unexpectedly, but it turns out she isn't what he expected!

Chapter 3: Cracking the Code Phamp uses his intensive modern day computer skills to unlock the clues of a mysterious rendezvous.

Chapter 4: What Is Exactly Going On?It turns out this is much more than the standard scenario of the cheating husband and the other woman.

Chapter 5: A Long Night Phamp and sidekick Jan fend off thugs and other nefarious characters while casing the joint.

Chapter 6: Incognito The pair go undercover, posing as a new couple moving into town to unlock the true nature of a seemingly innocent church meeting.

Chapter 7: Jacked Up! Evidently Phamp stepped on the wrong toes as he is hijacked and swept away to a secret interrogation room within the LA County's DA office.

Chapter 8: An Open Conspiracy Yes, our young hero stumbles upon a huge plot involving some of the wealthiest people in America, and nobody cares!

Chapter 9: The Mystery of the Coins Preferring not to press charges, Phamp is offered a bribe to cover up what he knows. But is it actually a bribe or an elaborate set up?

Epilogue: The Past is Present Perfect Turns out Phamp finally wakes up and realizes that there is no past or present- only the eternal now...